Anne Marie and I met in October of 2010, and by January 2011 we had our first group of Warriors up and running. Like, literally running in circles (sometimes) around a big gorgeous-and-still-under-construction space. We had come up with a concept for a class, found a space to do it in (thanks to Sarah Hinawi and The Purple Crayon Center), created a flyer, and just a week after putting the word out, we had a full class of 12 women.

So cool to remember how grassroots this whole thing was – and still is, really – and how we had to sweep up construction debris and sometimes move ladders in order to have class at TPC before it was even open to the public.

In those early months, with our own fears and insecurities and not-having-done-this-before, the two of us took turns being the one freaking out and the one who was calm. As long as one of us remained calm, we could move forward. And so we did (rather quickly, in retrospect).

Our first group of intrepid souls was definitely put to the trial-and-error test…as we started each class with seated meditation…as we experimented with assigning homework and having group discussions…as we required a 2x/week commitment. With each shift, with each expansion of our vision and what was possible and what worked and what didn’t work, we learned. Oh, we learned so much. Anyone remember our very first website with the clunky online forum??

March 2011: Most of our first co-hort of Warriors, with a super-cute and pregnant AM!

As teachers and guides, we grew. Looking back, we were so tentative in the beginning! Quickly, though, we let go of fear and found ourselves becoming more and more confident. Anne Marie wrote so beautifully last week about moving from fear to joy. I’d say the same is true for me – joy upon joy, as I zeroed in on doing the work of my heart and building community with all those became part of the Warrior Rising fold.

Quickly, our journey evolved beyond the teaching and into becoming entrepreneurs. After the first few months, we realized that if we wanted to keep doing this work, there was much more to it than just teaching the classes! Marketing, advertising, becoming a legal entity, building websites, learning how to “sell” our services in ways that felt authentic….all of this was brand-new to us. Let’s just say we received unparalleled on-the-job training in figuring these things out!

In fact, as the liberal arts major/theology student/yoga teacher that I am, if you had told me that I’d become a small business person even a few years ago, I’d have LOL’d. The only way this has happened at all is that it happened by accident, I’m convinced.

May 2012 – You guys still wearing your WR tank tops?

There have been ups, there have been downs, there have been times when the work we were doing behind the scenes felt like a more than full-time job. My absolute favorite times have centered around teaching and community building, when we got creative and tried things that really seemed to work. Last year’s Spring Challenge (push-ups and Bakasana, anyone?)…the benefit class for Hurricane Sandy…starting up an ad-hoc running group…the evolution of my own teaching-slash-storytelling…even the writing that we’ve both shared on the blog.

It has been a wild, wonderful ride. Before I get into any teasers about what’s coming next, I do have a bunch of people I’d like to thank. No, I’m not accepting any awards with this speech, but, it does take a village to support a small business. Over the past few years, we’ve had the good fortune to either hire or collaborate with many kind and supportive people. With major gratitude, I’d like to give shout-outs to…

• Kathleen Hinge of Yoga Shivaya, who introduced the two of us back in 2010 and gave us the opportunity to take Warrior Rising “on the road” last summer.

• Sarah and Adel Hinawi at The Purple Crayon Center, who helped us get off the ground at the very beginning and for being in relationship with us and for being our home base. We have absolutely loved being a part of TPC’s family!

• Eric Korn and Good-Life Gourmet, who collaborated with us on a delicious and fun cooking class event.

• Carrie Kaplan of LocalBuzz Westchester, who helped us understand social media.

• Lisa Bluestein, Esq, who walked us through the formation of our LLC.

• Superstar business coach Greta Cowan, who challenged us to get more comfortable with many aspects of our business, including telling our own stories.

• Cameron Wisch, musician and Purchase student, who took on our social media and did some great brainstorming for us last fall.

• Lew Tischler and Persephone Zill at Women’s Enterprise Development Center, who met with us to talk about finances and marketing, leading to our participation in WEDC’s 15 week Entrepreneurial Training Program.

The list goes on and on, including the many friends and family members  – most notably, our immediate families! – who have supported both Anne Marie and I as we have worked to grow and maintain this business. We thank you ALL so very much.

Now, to our students. Your willingness to show up for yourselves, to challenge yourselves, to experiment and try new things, to move out of your comfort zone…it’s nothing short of inspiring and amazing to witness. I feel so incredibly honored to have been a part of your journey. And this…this thing that we have co-created, this community? The Warrior Rising community is truly the thing I am most proud of, and most blown away by, every single day. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Lastly, to my amazing partner in crime. Anne Marie, I honestly could not have done this without you. I am so grateful for how seamless this whole adventure has been, how well we’ve worked together, how perfectly we have balanced each other’s needs, personalities, strengths and weaknesses. I am honored to witness your growth as teacher, mom, and woman of strength and integrity. For holding space when it was my turn to freak out or feel overwhelmed, for holding down the fort when I traveled, for showing up and giving it your all every single time, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are a true rock star.

*****

Now, are you guys ready for a little teaser??

I’m working on a little something that I hope to offer starting mid-April, tentatively called “Radical Acts of Self-Care”. An invitation to engage in some deliciously gorgeous practices, some active and some designed for you to simply receive. Yes, there will be yoga. And reiki. And ritual. And space, lots of space and permission to explore and connect. All I need is a comfortable room in which to offer this workshop, so please stay tuned (and if you have such a room, let’s talk!).

OK. No goodbyes. Just good wishes and good faith that our paths will continue to cross.

Big love to you all,

Sarah

It’s been inspirational. Motivating. Intimidating. Empowering. Fun. Joyful. It covers a wide range of emotions for me. When we first started out, I had no idea if I would be a good instructor to so many of you at once. I’m trained in one-on-one training and while I feel that I’m pretty darn good at it, I was extremely apprehensive about how that would translate in front of many. (The first class we ever did, I remember thinking when we did our first set of squats, my goodness there are a lot of knees I need to watch to make sure they aren’t going past those toes!) Plus, I was not someone who liked to be in front of people. Never a good public speaker and self-conscious beyond necessary, I was a wee bit frightened. What if nobody liked me? What if I injured someone because I wasn’t able to watch them closely enough? What if I supremely failed at this, then what? You know how the mind runs itself ragged once you slightly open the door to doubt. That’s exactly what happened. And on top of all those mind games, when we first started out, I was 7 months pregnant! Who wants a pregnant chick teaching them how to do squats when they’re thinking one false move and this girl can go into labor!

Fortunately no premature labor for me (in fact he was a week late and I think it was because he liked to attend the classes as well!). And once we got into the swing of things, my fears about being in front of all you wonderful women completely subsided. I was too excited to be a part of this community that we built that this “fear” that I had was quickly replaced by pure enjoyment. One of my happiest memories was getting some of you to do big-boy push ups when you were so sure that you couldn’t do any; that was so incredibly motivating for me! I loved that you all willingly pushed past your own self-limiting beliefs and succeeded! That’s what drives me. It makes me love even more that I chose to do this as a profession and I thank you all for that!

There were also the moments when many of you would tell me that you thought of me outside of class… like when you would be walking down stairs, squatting down to pick something up, or maybe even when you had to use the bathroom! The hard-ass trainer in me loved that as well! It meant that I got to those dormant muscles and brought them back to life! Yes, it’s true, your DOMS (delayed onset of muscle soreness – betcha didn’t know there was an actual name for what you were experiencing – especially the 2nd day!), made me happy! Together we were building strength and breaking down barriers that were going to help lead you to a more active and healthier life.

Such joy in being able to teach all you wonderful women!

So as we move forward, I ask you all not to let the fact that our doors are closing let your own doors on fitness close. Stay motivated! Keep surprising yourself by accomplishing things you never thought possible (like doing a squat, into a push up, back up into a balancing ball toss, right into a plank jack…) Or something like that!

I’m diligently working on providing you all with other opportunities to stay fit and active, so please stay tuned as I work towards creating an experience as enriching as Warrior Rising!

You have all motivated me to keep teaching and have proven to me that I can surprise myself as well! My journey from fear to joy has led me here and while the journey is far from over, I’m optimistic about what comes next. So from the bottom of my heart I thank you all for everything you have given me!

Stay motivated and let’s keep breaking down those self-limiting beliefs because the truth of the matter is that we are all capable of so much more than we think are!

Love and peace to you all! Warrior on, always!

This announcement went out in our newsletter on 2/14, and we thought we should also post it here on the Warrior Rising blog.

When we joined forces to create Warrior Rising two years ago, our goal was to inspire women to come together to get fit mindfully. While we are so proud of what we’ve built and grateful for all the wonderful people we’ve been honored to work with, we have made the difficult decision to close the doors of Warrior Rising by the end of March 2013.

This decision is bittersweet for both of us, as we truly love the community that has formed through our classes. We leave Warrior Rising to pursue our own separate paths, while supporting each other’s ventures in the best way possible. We are excited to take all the knowledge and experience and wisdom that we’ve gained from working together and use it to propel us forward.

Anne Marie is currently working on creating an outdoor fitness experience at one of the local parks come this spring, so stay tuned as she works toward presenting a new option for our devoted students. Sarah plans to expand  her reiki practice, yoga practice, and writing practice while creating in-depth, transformational workshops, both in-person and online. We both look forward to bringing these new offerings to life!

In the meantime, we will continue to bring you the best mind-body workout that you’ve come to expect from Warrior Rising until our last class on March 22nd. That gives you 5 weeks to get in as many classes as you can before we shut our doors.**

Thank you all for your strong support of our business and for helping us to realize our goal of bringing women together to find their individual strengths in community. We could not have done this without you.

With so much gratitude,

Sarah and Anne Marie

**We will gladly discuss refund requests for your class balances on a case-by-case basis.

Please feel free to reach out to us with any questions you might have about how this change affects you, through email, by phone, or in class.

To be honest, I had kinda decided that this would be our first Book Club book before I had even read it. I kept seeing Brené Brown’s name around the interwebs and knew her work centered around one of my favorite & least favorite topics, vulnerability. And then I listened to her interview with Krista Tippett, from NPR’s On Being. And then I listened to it again.

In debunking the cultural myth that vulnerability equals weakness, Brené says this:

Is stepping up to the plate after striking out a sign of weakness? No. Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness. Yes, we are totally exposed when we are vulnerable. Yes, we are in the torture chamber that we call uncertainty. And, yes, we’re taking a huge emotional risk when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. But there’s no equation where taking risks, braving uncertainty, and opening ourselves up to emotional exposure equals weakness.

And there was a distinct moment when I knew that, for myself and for our community of women, this message needs to be heard, loud and clear. It all started with this photo:

What do you see when you look at this photo?

I see someone who is radiating joy, in love with life, fully in her element. I see a woman who is confident, courageous, and standing in her light.

Yep, so this is me, on my 40th birthday. I am leading our Warrior Rising students (and some friends) in 40 sun salutations to celebrate my birthday. In addition to beaming my own joy, I am also reflecting back all the love and support and amazing energy that was pouring out of everyone in the room. Honestly, that class was a shining moment for me, as a person, as a teacher, as an authentic, vibrant being in the world.

And yet. My very first thought upon seeing this photo? I look fat. Omg, I look fat, there’s no way I can post this photo.

My next thought: What, are you crazy? Look at your face! This is an awesome moment captured forever! And you’re worried about how your belly looks?? That is so lame!! You should know better! Shame on you!

From Judgy McJudgerson to the shaming of Judgy McJudgerson. All in the span of about 5 seconds.

And then I made a choice. To notice what is happening, to feel the vulnerability stirred up by this photo, the feeling of not being enough even when I’m standing in my light.

Noticing that my first reaction to seeing myself standing in my light is to shut it down, to make myself smaller, to cut myself off at the knees.

Hmmm. Interesting. What happens if I take a breath right into that vulnerability? Whoa. Now I see this one in all her glory. I see the joy on her face, the glow. You are beautiful and you are loved, I whisper. You are more than enough.

And I post the photo on Facebook.

*****

We do this to ourselves all the time. That moment of self-hatred, even if it’s fleeting, is a reaction to feeling vulnerable. To be vulnerable is to open ourselves up to fear, pain, even intense happiness and joy which are sometimes just as hard to receive as pain and fear. To be vulnerable means that we choose to feel our lives.

While those knee-jerk reactions like the one I described above may never go away entirely, we always have a choice. We can choose to wall off our own vulnerability behind a “protective” fortress while making sure everyone else only sees how perfect and together we are….OR, we can begin to let our truth seep out through the cracks.

And we all know how it feels to be open, vulnerable and exposed. We “go there”, in certain situations, when we feel safe to do so, and sometimes when we don’t. We take risks and make mistakes and put ourselves out there. And isn’t that how we find our courage?

We are all brave and courageous at times, AND we are all masters at hiding or holding certain things in. What would it be like to loosen our grip, to release even just a tiny bit of whatever keeps us small, shuts us down, or cuts us off at the knees?

*****

If you feel an itch, like I do, to live a more consciously authentic and whole-hearted life more of the time, then let’s go there together.

Join the discussion of Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly in our closed Facebook group, Let’s Discuss! Book Conversations (just hit “Join Group” on the R hand side). FYI – “Closed group” means anyone can request to join, members can invite other members, but only those in the group will see the posts.

Locals, save the date for our Let’s Discuss night: Thurs, Feb 28th, 7:30 pm. We’ll be meeting in Dobbs Ferry at the beautiful Rivertown Mamas space at 145 Palisades St, Suite 247.

But high school drama and real world, mommy drama… two totally different beasts!

See, two years ago the word “freedom” was my life. I could walk out the door and not have to run through my now exhaustive list of 50 things I needed before making sure the door didn’t lock behind me. Getting in and out of the car took mere seconds. There was no time crunch in running errands. And I had absolutely no idea where the nearest Babies R Us was? (Or what an addiction that store would become!) In fact, I used to be so afraid of that store that my sister-in-law did all my registering online for my baby shower because I couldn’t handle the overwhelmingness of that very scary store! (What small thing needed ALL THAT stuff?) Without realizing it, before I was a mom, I was pushing against the reality that I would someday be a mom. Everything about it frightened me. I didn’t think I would ever really be old enough (or mature enough) to make it a reality. It was always “down the road”.

Well hello “down the road”. I see you have caught up with me. And enter stage left the crying, the tears and the growing up phase of life… the real growing up!

I’m happy to say that made it, in tact, through my first full calendar year as a mom and if that doesn’t take you from a wet behind the ears amateur to seasoned professional, then by God nothing will. And my oh my, how things have changed! The once horrifying task of smelling a butt for poopies is now a daily activity. I’m a pro at picking boogers out of a tiny nose, and I find myself standing on a street corner in the cold waiting for any bus to drive by—not to ride it but so we can both shout BEEP BEEP as it passes by. (And did anyone notice my use of the word “poopies” like it was nothing? I just threw it out there and didn’t think twice about it. Who does that?) It’s a bit of a mind-blowing shock to the system to be transformed in such a major way and there is no way you can prepare for it, it’s just the journey of a mom. Each one different but nonetheless transforming.

A lot can change in a year… a lot indeed!

And this transition… holy moly was it a process. In fact, it was a big, messy, drama-laiden hot mess of a process! There were big, sloppy wet tears; there were massive breakdowns and numerous call to my own mom sobbing as I tried to explain to her that I sucked as a mom. There were food fights and tantrums… yea, it was ugly. Have you ever seen a mom sitting on a park bench, staring off into the distance as a baby slept close by all snuggled up in a stroller? I bet you anything that mom is sitting back thinking of the day when she used to spend $100 on a pair of shoes she would end up wearing only once, and how her life used to be all about her, and only her. That was me, I was totally that mom. I was pushing against the reality of my new life. I was still very frightened in those first few months.

And believe me, I get that all moms go through this, I have two sisters and a sis-in-law who eagerly share their stories and while they make us all laugh as we tell them, it’s a hard struggle for us all. We change and adapt because we have to, we must. It’s survival of the fittest at its core. I know for me it was scary to look at myself and not be familiar with that person looking back. Who was I? Who had I become? At first I didn’t like this person, and this person was supposed to be nurturing a baby who hopefully would one day become a functioning member of society. But how was that possible since I wasn’t even a functioning member of society most days! Talk about an internal struggle for peace and acceptance. I liked me the way I was. I had no idea how to be a mom, and be good at it too!

Yet, despite all this internal struggling that I wrangled with, I somehow managed to make it through the year, and as it neared its end, I realized something. That somewhere along the way, I accepted my new form of ‘freedom’. I stopped pushing against it. I stopped resenting it. I started accepting my new life and came to terms with it. I don’t know exactly when, or how it happened, it was one of those gradual, almost non-event kind of changes. The crying became less and less, and the tantrums and frantic phone calls gradually subsided.I learned how to assess, handle and alter situations. (The word “distraction” became my best friend!) I had indeed, just as my son had, grown up.

Rumor has is that when you pray for patience, you get it by having to learn how to use it. It isn’t just granted as we would hope, it’s presented in situations that push you to your bitter end, and you have to learn how to bring yourself back from the brink without losing it all right there on the kitchen floor! (Been there, done that )

I think one of the best things you can do at year-end is to be able to look back and realize that you’re leaving the year a better person than when you entered the year. And I ONE THOUSAND PERCENT can say that I am a much better person because of my son and everything that he taught me about myself this year. I’m sure there is more to come, but I’m finally growing up… little by little.

This book. Is so…timely. So needed. So magnificent.

But don’t take my word for it! Go forth and read this book and bring your own reflections/opinions/stories to our inaugural Warrior Rising Book Club.

The details of our meeting time/place are still being worked out (and will be updated on this page), but we’re shooting for an evening in February…giving you plenty of time to read the book.

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. (Subtitle says it all: “How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead”).

From the book jacket: “Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable, or to dare greatly. Based on twelve years of pioneering research, Dr. Brené Brown dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. She explains that when we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.”

I’ve been completely bowled over by the contents of this book – as well as by Brené Brown’s TED talks and NPR interview. To get a sense of her work, I encourage you to check out these links:

TED talk: The Power of Vulnerability

TED talk: Listening to Shame

Interview with Krista Tippett on NPR’s On Being  (Listen to this as you sit and fold laundry, that’s what I did!)

And in case you need any more convincing, Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) just posted this on Facebook last night:

MAGNIFICENT…

Does anyone have an extra twenty minutes to spare today? (I know, I know…you probably don’t — who does?) But if you can carve out the time, may I make the most earnest recommendation that you watch this speech, which moved me so very much? There are extremely wise (and funny) thoughts in this talk on the subject of what separates people who live their lives “whole-heartedly” from people who do not. The answers may surprise you. Whole-hearted living, it seems, has everything to do with embracing vulnerability. The whole-hearted among us are the ones who are able to risk extreme vulnerability again and again in their lives — to sit with discomforting feelings, to courageously share their true emotions, to take the chance being judged and ridiculed, to accept the possibility of failing — all in the name of living a complete human experience. And all in the name of loving one another with totality.

I am a little bit obsessed with Brené Brown at the moment. I think she is a genius. If you want to go as far with her as I have, I encourage you to also find an hour (I KNOW! You don’t have an hour! But try to find one!) to listen to the extraordinarily moving interview she gave on Krista Tippett’s podcast, “On Being.” In that interview, she goes even deeper into explaining the necessity of vulnerability for the living of a whole-hearted life — and she also explains how every single act of courage is based by necessity upon the willingness to be vulnerable. She also lays out quite clearly the demons that destroy our attempts whole-hearted living (such as perfectionism, judgment, competition, defining yourself by how much you produce, using your exhaustion as a status symbol for how hard you work, caring deeply about people’s opinions, not wanting to be perceived as weak or gullible, etc. etc.) Let me just say, I could relate just the TEENSIEST bit to the obstacles that we put before us on the path to whole-heartedness, and parts of this interview moved me to tears. Here is the link:

http://www.onbeing.org/program/brene-brown-on-vulnerability/4928

Life-changing stuff here, people. Just sayin’.

Brené Brown, folks! The real deal. I love her.

We can’t wait to hear from you, to discuss how this work applies both to our own lives and to the state of the planet as a whole. So get reading and make sure to record any “a-ha” moments along the way. We’ll start the evening by sharing our favorite quotes from the book. Thurs, Feb 28th, 7:30 pm. We’ll be meeting in Dobbs Ferry at the beautiful Rivertown Mamas space at 145 Palisades St, Suite 247. 

RIGHT NOW: Join the discussion of Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly in our closed Facebook group, Let’s Discuss! Book Conversations (just hit “Join Group” on the R hand side). (FYI – “Closed group” means anyone can request to join, members can invite other members, but only those in the group will see the posts.)

Love, Sarah and Anne Marie

It was 1996, I was living in Washington DC, and a roommate encouraged me to sign up for an 8 week series of Iyengar yoga classes. I didn’t end up loving the class – the focus of Iyengar is in the minutia of alignment, so we spent a LOT of time trying to get our feet in exactly the right position. But there was something about what we were doing with our bodies that brought forth tears during relaxation that first night. I’m not sad, so why am I crying?? I thought. I didn’t understand it then, but that moment was the beginning of my discovery of myself through yoga.

Two years later, I stepped into a very different kind of yoga class. Living in Chelsea, NYC, I found a studio and a teacher I liked, and started taking these fairly vigorous classes. I distinctly remember tears of frustration coming up during class at times, that feeling of not knowing what I was doing as a rank beginner. That feeling of not doing it right. Oh yes, my perfectionist self was in full effect, either wanting to do the perfect pose or else not do it at all. Somehow, I kept coming back, trying my best, feeling frustrated, but also finding some freedom, some connection to myself that helped mitigate the anxiety I felt living in NYC at the time.

Once I discovered Kripalu yoga, it may well have been called “Tearful Yoga” for all the crying I did. Again, it’s in retrospect that I can see I was coming to know myself in a new way through this transformative practice. Years of classes, teacher trainings, retreats, practicing on my own or in sangha. Years of coming up against my habits and hard edges, sparking all kinds of emotion: anger, frustration, surrender, joy, connection, aversion, disconnection. The high highs and the low lows. My mat has held it all.

So what is this all about? And why would I keep on doing something that was making me cry/feel/dissolve into a puddle of tears during relaxation? Well, I honestly think this was/is my body’s way of telling me, “You’re ALIVE! No matter what else is happening or has happened or will happen in your life, you’re HERE and you’re ALIVE RIGHT NOW! So pay ATTENTION!!” This wise (and rather insistent) voice is what keeps me coming back. Even during the fallow periods of my practice – and there have been many times when I’ve fallen away from it or when the shape of my practice has drastically changed…Somehow, through it all, I keep coming back to my body in order to hear that voice more clearly.

Also, there is some kind of chicken-egg situation going on with the tears and the mat. Did all those early tears sanctify and bless the mat, creating a sacred space in which to listen to my body wisdom? Or is it the safety of my mat, the container of my practice, that encourages the tears to flow and bring release? I’m not sure which came first, but I do know that this is a winning combination. More often than not, tears shed during practice reveal to me that there is yet another layer of healing going on.

These days, the tears are fewer and further between. And when they do show up, they don’t overwhelm me, or cause as much of a hangover, as they once did. Now, there are times when I can breathe into the feelings, relax, feel those feelings, watch the response of the mind, and allow the release to happen. Surprised by how quickly the tears and the feelings move through.

In the flow of it all, grateful for the mat and the tears.

I tried keeping “Evil’s” hand out of the picture…

New trends are popping up all over the place when it comes to fitness and trying to find new ways to make it fun, but is adding a glass (or two—let’s be real here) of wine at the end of a workout the best thing? Should such a workout be thrown into the ever-growing pile of ideas gone sour? (Shake Weight, Flex Belt, Euro Disney, New Coke, there are no limitations, bad ideas are everywhere and in every business!) Should a gym (and yes, this class does really exist at a gym in NYC!) be shunned because of the way they’re graying the lines between fitness and something done in a social setting, amongst friends (sometimes until 3 am, causing numerous “walks of shame”, amnesia—”I did WHAT last night with WHO???”—and the occasional drunk dialing, or sext-ing I should say in this day and age!) Going to a fitness class shouldn’t cause the same results! (Maybe they put an asterisk next to this class description, warning any newbie to its potential pitfalls.)

On the other hand, are they in some way creating their own sense of community? Could it actually be a civilized, cozy setting with women looking to connect with friends they’ve just made in class; an opportunity to get to know their peers and instructors better? The ability to open up in a way that has never been done before in a gym setting, outside the grunting and heavy breathing? I mean, if I’m going to have a glass of wine and I don’t feel like going out, or drinking alone in my apartment (not that I’ve ever done that ), then what’s the harm in a glass with new friends after we all just had an exhilarating workout?

Maybe they’re on to something after all. Do the two have to be mutually exclusive, or is a little co-mingling a good thing? Let us know what you think because here at Warrior Rising, we’re thinking of adding a class called “Shots and Squats”! (That’s “Evil’s” idea!)

This is the image that shifted my Thanksgiving.

I woke up that morning tired and grumpy after a restless night of everyone playing musical beds. With a long mental to-do list already haunting me. Go for a run, eat breakfast, roast the squash and prepare side-dish, take pie out of fridge, walk the dog, take a shower, leave for NJ no later than 12…

For the kids, it was a holiday from the moment they woke up. No school! No need to get dressed! Ooh, ooh, let’s watch the Thanksgiving Parade in our pj’s! Let’s have pumpkin pie for breakfast!!

Mid-way through the morning, while the squash was roasting in the oven and my grumpy mood was  stewing in my head, I had the same thought I have on weekend mornings: wait, how long have they been sitting in front of the TV??

And then, standing in the kitchen, I heard this from the TV room: “Whoa – this feels so cool, Milo!!”

It was Stella, my 9 year old daughter, crouching over the head of her 7 year old brother. She had her hands around the sides of his faux-hawked and crew-cut head. She was feeling the sensation of his hair against her palms…and he was letting her, encouraging her.

With their attention mostly on the parade on the flat screen, or Club Penguin on the laptop, the two of them stayed like that, her hands on his head…and I got to witness them, quietly.

For the rest of the morning, I declared a truce with my own inner battle around the use of electronics in our home. I let myself off the hook for getting everything on my to-do list done, perfectly and on time. I lingered in that soft, open space of parade-watching, sibling and pet cuddling, pajama wearing. I laughed with my kids and teared up during the heartstring-pulling commercials that get played this time of year.

And I remembered: these are my people.

This family of mine, who I love fiercely and wholly. And who love me back, even when I am not my best self. These people who remind me through their actions that it’s ok to linger in the soft spaces. That it’s more important to appreciate our time together than it is to be perfectly punctual with a perfectly prepared side dish.

In the end, no one really cared that we were half an hour late and that my cumin-y roasted squash kinda flopped. There was plenty of food and funny stories and the usual neuroses and somehow I appreciated everyone more this Thanksgiving than I usually do.

This, here.

During Thanksgiving week, I *could* be making a list of all that I’m grateful for. I *could* be talking about healthy holiday foods. I *could* be sharing tips on how to get through the holidays without losing your mind/overeating/burning out, etc etc etc. And I may in fact cover these topics at some point. Just not today.

Instead. There is some truth to be shared and it looks more like that quote up there. Stepping out into what is unknown, uncharted and shaky. Moving away from comfort and security.

In my life. In my business. In my being. It’s happening, whether I like it or not. I’m being called forth. Called forth to step into new territory that is scary as hell.

It’s the unknown of growth, really. Growing pains. That awful, uncomfortable place of knowing only that changes and shifts are happening while having no idea where those changes will take me. From the security of habit and how I’ve always operated, to the uncharted terrain of habits broken, safety net dissolved, being forced to fly.

As I move within my closest relationships. As I dig deeper and deeper into the soil of my body and all that has been planted there. As I face my emotional inheritance from generations of family head on. As I step more visibly into my love of teaching and community building. As I open myself up, publicly and privately. As I lean into growing a business with many growing pains.

So many moments of wanting to hide, of wanting to curl up under the covers and throw in the towel. While I haven’t actually thrown in the towel yet, there are times when the fear and discomfort and pain are so strong that I do need to retreat, to find quiet, to lay down. Sometimes sleep is healing.

Yes. Navigating the unknown, uncharted, and shaky is HARD. Sometimes all the self-care in the world does not feel like enough and asking for support feels even harder. And yet…I keep waking up in the morning and doing the work. And the insights come, the knowing deepens. I keep stepping forward. I keep choosing, moment by moment, to stay in the process. I just keep showing up.

Liberation, in the quote above, is not found in the unknown, uncharted or shaky places. Rather, liberation comes in the movement of moving away from, the motion of stepping out into. It is the action itself that liberates.

This Thanksgiving, among many blessings, my gratitude flows from this, here. Stepping out into what is hard, shaky step by shaky step.